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While looking at it, see how many of the names say “family” next to them. People who have more support and connections tend to do better upon release, giving you and your relationship one less struggle to manage.
Give yourself a minimum of three or more months to get to know this person. That may enable you to withstand the weight that goes with their return to society. Be mindful that a lot who are getting out have little to no money, and if they do, their immediate goal will most likely be to get situated and stabilize their self. The response from friends was funny when I showed them this. There are opportunities in here to better one’s self. Phone conversations and erotic letter writing are ways to gauge if a spark exists.
It is so important to have that talk as soon as possible and to continually update that. It’s also a way to discern what other issues may be at hand. If they are reluctant to show you their approved visiting list, is there a reason?
During talks, are they more inhibited than you’d like? Do they talk about things you’ve never heard of or never thought to try before? Every bit of information is a clue to better knowing your potential partner. (I’ll probably be hated for naming this one, but it’s important.) Perhaps those names are your competition. Some families lacked closeness prior to the person coming to prison.
You’ve decided there are good enough people in prison who may be worth a chance. Are you working on your self-esteem and, for now, need the safety, additional confidence and security that dating a prisoner might offer?
There are men and women locked up that want to walk the walk with you, people ready to commit and contribute to your life. Whatever your reasons – good or bad, sensible or borderline irrational – knowing and naming them is a huge point to consider for a successful relationship.
When they have visits, that’s the only time they clean up. If how they talk doesn’t match the style in their correspondence, that’s a clue.